12 Jun
44 years and 45 years - The star rises to the sky and the Phoenix is reborn... Part III

After the departure of the little star, the world had become more colorless for me and my dear wife. Our world, our everyday life, was directed towards her. I was groundless for a few days... My expectations, my dreams for her were over... I was empty, aimless...

So, still in the early days, reflecting on everything I'd been through, I thought, "Who needs me now?" The answer came almost immediately... besides my dear wife, my dear father. He needed me a lot, mainly due to the losses... my dear mother and my little star. So I could focus on rebuilding my foundation, focusing on my dear wife and father. From then on, things started to fall into place again, as a human being without a goal is just a traveler without a destination.

Some relevant facts that happened this year in which the little star left should be written here. During my 43 and 45 years, I worked in a state agency linked to the production of cartographic documents. I confess that I had basic training in this area, but it was not my area of research. Furthermore, when I was transferred to this agency due to the extinction of the one where I worked, we were allocated without any function corresponding to the one we performed there. It was real chaos. Obviously, the day to day in this new body was stressful and without motivation. In addition, my teaching activities at night continued to bring joy to my daily life. I was coordinator of an undergraduate course in my area. He taught in specialization, Masters and Doctorate courses.

A little before the little star left, the director of this body talked to me and noticed how tired I was and how my life was on a daily basis with the little star. I told him that I would like to be transferred somewhere where I could be more useful. He, knowing my situation, took pity on me and helped me. Thanks to him, I could have a light at the end of the tunnel for my professional career, which would help a lot with my personal life. Work really ennobles the soul. So, even though the little star was getting sicker and sicker, I started looking for a place where I could be more useful... I found a research center.

In this process, I met the study area director at this research center who needed a person with my background. I had an interview with him and then with the presidency of the center and its directors. I was accepted there 03 days before my little star left... As God opens and closes doors in a timely manner... I was in need of a new challenge and a fresh start... this helped me a lot in assimilating my losses.. … I had more solid ground again. I was welcomed by this director in an affectionate and respectful way, in addition to being welcomed by my peers in the same way. I have no words to thank this director, now a very dear friend, for what he has done for me... it is a debt of gratitude that I carry in my heart. In addition to him, I have wonderful people at the research center, whom I respect and have the greatest affection for. I leave here in writing my gratitude.

In this way, I moved forward on my journey, despite the losses and mishaps I had. Throughout the rest of the year, I adapted my life to take care of my most precious possessions: my dear wife and my dear father. Every day I called the clinic where my father was, I checked the medication, I visited him almost every day and saw his recovery. Since he went there, I told him that when he wanted to get out of there, he just had to say it, because his room was all set up waiting for his presence. Fortunately, one of the most difficult decisions of my life, which was to direct him there, had been made... I thank God to this day for that.

My father was a phoenix reborn... despite the losses, he was recovering every day with the support of the friends he made at the clinic and, I think, with the support of his family... he regained the weight, he started coming back from his depression trip and thinking about moving on... this motivated me a lot after the loss of the little star

My dear wife, on the other hand, had taken an almost fatal blow to her soul. The loss of the little star was and is, until today, a fact that is difficult for her to assimilate. I tried to make up for the lack of a little star by taking my wife on a trip... I spared no resources and efforts.. France, Italy, England, Greece, Portugal and Spain... We made several trips over the years, which will be mentioned in other texts ... everything to try to bring a little joy and light, where there was sadness and darkness... in a way, they were very fruitful trips and that helped in our journey... But, I cannot fail to observe, they are momentary joys that will never replace the space left in our hearts.

Life, like a carousel of comings and goings, takes us to encounters and disagreements, losses and gains, peace and war, light and darkness, but what would our life be like without the carousel wheel? How would we learn to be better human beings if not facing the two sides of the same coin?... we are walkers in search of the joy of being, more and more, ourselves and more collective beings... we are all human beings and we deserve dignity and respect ..

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