25 May
Between 39 and 42 years old - The Second Lesson - Part I

The trip to Paris was a turning point for me.. I always thought that traveling was a dubious investment.. how wrong I was.. The year started with a lot of work and accomplishments.... I proposed a research related to Urban Solid Waste for a public development agency and I got the resources. For more than two years, I made several incursions in my hometown to evaluate the use of urban solid waste as a potential generator of energy based on its calorific value. The raids were led by me, who was the driver of the truck, with GPS and a very involved and competent team. I was very happy with this phase of my life. As a result, my academic career was going very well.. I was teaching in my area, I was invited to teach in other courses.. I was getting the resources I needed to give what the little star needed and, at the same time, I felt useful and happy... despite having mishaps with the little star.

She arrived at the time of leaving school... we had to find a school for her... this was the second lesson. Never, in the entire life of the little star, did anyone have any prejudice against her, because everyone saw the love we had for her and we always treated her as a normal child, as far as possible. However, the reality can be very different when you step outside the sphere of special children. We started looking for private schools with names to put the little star. In the first one we went to, said to be inclusive, with a philosophy linked to logosophy, we went to talk to the school director... evaluating the school's infrastructure, it was a school prepared for children with mobility problems. We talked to teachers... They showed us the whole school, but they said they would evaluate our request... we are still waiting for the answer... they didn't want it there.

In another very famous one, we went to check the possibility and were informed that they would accept her, but that we would have to find someone to stay with her during the classes and, in case of absence, the little star would not be able to enter the school... Still we had to accept this in writing!! I began to realize that inclusion, in most schools, was just a legal obligation. We went to several schools, each one gave an excuse for not accepting or simply recognized that they were not prepared to serve special children. We looked for schools for special children, but my beloved wife didn't want to, because she thought it would be important for the little star to live with normal children. Until we went to school where my wife studied high school. They accepted the star, but they would hire someone and we would have to pay their salary.

At the insistence of my wife, who wanted a better education for our daughter, I put her there. The little star's routine was crazy.. my wife would wake up at 5:30 am, bathe the little star, get her ready and go with her to school. There, she studied until 11:45 and got home around 12:30. I would come home from work, because I worked, depending on the little star's condition, part-time, more or less at this time, I'd have lunch and we'd go out to the little star for physiotherapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy. We arrived around 17:00 and then I went to the Faculty to work. My wife was doing her homework with the little star. That was our routine, month after month. I told my wife that the routine was too heavy for my daughter... that we should rethink... The school wanted my little star to accompany the class... I was outraged... how would that happen? My starlet was very intelligent, but her physical limitations impeded her progress.. I continued to argue with my wife that that effort was too much for her... then came another life lesson... my starlet was shining less, getting slower, more tired... she couldn't sit still without toppling over... I was there watching that, unable to do anything... I felt lost and afraid... surely something serious was going on... .

We went to the neurologist, we did several exams with the little star... then came another nightmare... she would have to operate again, but this time, new resources could be used and plates, pins and screws could be placed... I couldn't believe it. .. so much effort to keep her well and everything had collapsed .. I even argued with my wife and even blamed her for it .. that insistence on making the little star be what she couldn't be or could be later on , when she was stronger... pushing to the limit... Today I see that it took a lot of love and dedication to endow her with greater resources to face life... but she couldn't see that she was going beyond what was acceptable . We were always worried about what would happen to her when we weren't here anymore... that crossed my mind almost every day. So we went to another new challenge...

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