How do you say goodbye?

A year will pass and my life has changed so much. I keep wondering what will happen from now on, or how will I structure a new beginning?
An important step is to understand what you were, what you are, and what you can be... I can't help but feel, love, and be charitable... often, life would be easier without these feelings. Being cold, calculating, and selfish seems normal to me today. I no longer see the spark of hope in people's eyes, only a cloudiness.

Every day, I wake up wanting to be a better human being, even if it's just 0.001%, grateful for my life and the people connected to it. Mistakes? I make many and will continue to make them. Perfection? I'm far from it.

I read the newspaper and see a chaotic world, where life has little or no meaning. I see a world where selling yourself online is big business, showing off, being known, being admired, being influential. What's the point of this? Obviously, being attractive gives you a great advantage, opens doors, and material wealth, but everything is individual. Few use this influence to truly do something for the community, to make this world a better place, to be a better person.

What I see are people, for the most part, forgetting about real life, about everyday life, connected to technology and the daily exposure of their lives. They forget the richness of social interaction, family, feelings, and the fact that we are social beings. The touch on the face, the lively gaze, the transfer of feelings, the warmth of a hug, the feeling of existence, a small gesture of good morning—that's life.

I remember how much I felt, loved, and suffered throughout my adolescence, because I always valued charity, the human being, and what lies behind the mirror of people's faces. As you can imagine, I fell and got up many times, unfortunately withdrawing and learning to wear a mask so as not to be massacred for simply being myself. I was led to be a less sensitive and more pragmatic person, but I continued to maintain these values, hidden from the inattentive gaze of others.

Time passed, and fortunately, after many comings and goings, I found someone who could see behind the mask. He began to see me, a little withdrawn and afraid, as I had also suffered from life's ups and downs. But, through an act of boldness on my part, and why not say courage, I took off the mask and took a step of faith. What happened next was an equally courageous gesture on the other side. From this courage, an exchange of life and feelings was born that lasted 30 years.

During all this time, whether instinctively or consciously, love blossomed. Not the love of today, but that complete, companionable, mischievous, and pure love, in which only presence could take you to a place of peace and profound joy, even if momentary, in a life full of setbacks and challenges. We weren't perfect or completely harmonious, but we complemented each other almost completely.

Most of the time, the daily problems and challenges were difficult and left us apprehensive, restless, and sometimes afraid. But we had each other, and we knew that, even with our differences, we always wanted to be together. There were many times when I wondered if I was loved and if my love was true, as there were many times when I thought about giving up due to the difficulties life imposed on us.

However, with great effort, complicity, and love, we always stayed together, because we believed in family, in togetherness, and in love. I can't express how grateful I am for that. It wasn't an easy life, like we see in movies or soap operas, but it was a rich life, full of great learning and overcoming.

This year without you, I had to relearn how to live and start over... I'm still far from being a teacher in this; I'm just a student trying to understand the meaning of starting over. I have to move on, without my little piece of peace. I've mourned, cried, and found myself alone so much. But I've also risen, changed, adapted, and evolved so much.

I've done so many things, difficult things that hurt what's left of a broken heart, but one that seeks redemption by following the path of life and charity. I have to move on and keep my feelings, good and bad, stored in my thoughts and memories, for we are the sum of our experiences. I have to say goodbye to you, because you live in my heart, but it needs to heal, and to do so, I have to leave you in my memories and live in the present and build a future.

It's a Herculean task, but necessary to honor what I've always believed in my life: that we are instruments of transformation and that we are here for a purpose. This makes me get up every day and give thanks for your dawn, for my life, and wish everyone a blessed day. My life has always been blessed, and I have had what many souls seek throughout their lives... true love, companionship, and faith.

So, I ask myself every day: How do you say goodbye? And with this question, I search for the answer, with every breath, of how to start over and move forward. Every day, I learn more and more, discovering life's purpose and rediscovering the joy of living.

You know what... you don't say goodbye, but see you soon, because there will always be life where there is love.

See you soon!!