Resilience to live...

Recently, I have been exposed to several situations that, until then, were unknown to me. I almost never ask for favors or help, perhaps because throughout my life, I have always had to deal with my problems alone. I have always preferred to help rather than be helped. 

In my process of mourning and rupture, I found myself alone and without a reference to get back on my feet... at first, I thought I would not be able to get back on my feet, to overcome the loss, or in fact, any losses. Whenever I lost, I turned to those I loved and who needed me... in a way, this made me feel alive and gave me a purpose to move forward. 

But suddenly, I found myself alone, incredibly alone, and I began to feel the losses I had suffered along the way. The interesting thing is that everything came at once, like a runaway train. The longing and the search to understand why this was happening to me were consuming me. Someone told me, don't ask why, but rather what for... the answers are not always clear and often not even possible... they are in the house of the Greater Father. 

The losses I have suffered have always made me a better human being, because I have always learned something positive from them. I have always tried to take care of those I love in the best way I could... dedicating myself, each day, to trying to make their lives better and happier. Sometimes I succeeded, other times I didn't, but I always did the best I could, at the time I was in. 

Over time, I learned my mistakes and corrected them. But I am not a supernatural being, like a superhero who saves everyone in the end. At various times in my life, I felt powerless in the face of events, like a boat without an engine in a storm. You realize that it is going to capsize and there is nothing you can do... at that moment, you think you would give anything to have the power to do something, to change places with someone who is drowning, because reality is hard and it hurts. 

You often ask the Greater Father why... but thinking about it, you should ask yourself why... why is this happening, what is this teaching you... at the same time, there is that feeling of sadness because you know you tried your best, within all your possibilities, but it wasn't enough... and you ask yourself: Greater Father, why wasn't I heard, why wasn't my effort recognized? But, thinking deeply, we can't be here for a walk... that would be a waste of life force... we are here to learn and to help others learn. 

Each human being has a path to follow and a learning experience to complete... it is not destiny, but rather an evolutionary necessity in every sense. The Greater Father is watching and observing the paths we choose and where they lead us. From these choices, learning opportunities appear and your evolutionary path in this existence is being paved. We should not think that we have done too much or too little, we should not do things to be rewarded, but rather do them because we love, because we have compassion. 

I have heard many times, even from myself, that we are human and need to feel human warmth, love, joy, sadness, peace, fear... in short, we need to feel. This is part of who we are... how difficult it is to spend our whole lives doing things without expecting anything in return, because, no matter how much compassion we have, we also need, at some point, for others to do things for us. Then, suddenly, when I was alone, many people did things for me, showing compassion, love and detachment... what a lesson I learned... the Greater Father is always there and sometimes answers you in an unexpected way... 

I am learning that we are not alone in this world, even when those we love most and our family are no longer here... people without any family ties show you that compassion and love for others is not limited to blood ties. What you plant throughout your life, you will reap at some point... If you plant compassion, you will reap compassion. If you plant love, you will reap love. If you plant storms, you will reap storms. 

So, suddenly, I don't know what the future holds for me, only what the past and the present teach me. That's where resilience comes from. Resilience in believing that those you loved the most were loved by you, even with mistakes and successes. Resilience in believing that you did the best you could at every moment for those you love or for some stranger. Resilience in believing that your path is still being walked and that you are here to finish it. Resilience in believing in yourself and in your ability to overcome yourself every day.

The process of rupture and loss makes us return to the past to review attitudes, facts and feelings, searching deep within our souls to see if there was anything more that could have been done and, above all, if what could have been missing was within our reach... if not, you did what was possible... if so, where did you go wrong, why and how not to repeat this mistake... once again, resilience appears, because we are apprentices and we have to deal with our successes and our mistakes with humility and compassion for ourselves... we have to forgive ourselves and forgive others...

The process of mourning and rupture cannot result in the desire for death, but rather in the desire to honor life, the happy and sad moments, the lessons learned and the path that we have built... learning that life does not end, but that it starts over again every day and that we must honor life by being resilient with ourselves and with those around us. 

It is not an easy task, as it causes pain and suffering, but it also leads us to our evolution as human beings and as spirits. Life does not stop, as it is a river that flows so that we can learn to be better. 

We have to be resilient with who we are and believe, with each breath, that we are evolving and that the end of the journey is shown at the end of the learning that we came to have.... 

This is the meaning of life... resilience in love, in compassion, in struggle, in gains, in losses... always seeking to be useful with each breath and each minute of this existence.